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Make Mouths

by passion fanfare

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1.
So we stayed up late, you were praying hard That my wits would slow, that I'd get tired And I was really drunk but that made it worse I said "Cut and run, don't stay the course "You're a stupid boy, the test says you're smart But you're still a boy and nobody wants your heart." So we stayed up late and I do not pray I know God thinks I'm worse every day I want her so much, I'm too proud to plead But she caught on anyway, she said "You need to leave" I'm a stupid girl, teachers say I'm smart But I'm just like anyone and nobody wants my heart. So we stayed up late, we were praying hard That our wits would slow, we were so tired And I'm really drunk, I don't want this stuff But I am too lonely, and you are fast enough I'm a stupid kid, my dad says I'm smart But I'm just like everyone and nobody wants my heart Except for you, and I want no part of you There's nothing I won't do to never be with you
2.
I hurt myself when I am tired I hurt myself when I am tired, okay And my love's not for the broken-hearted, it's for the Spartans, fox under my shirt I was never going to feed you I thought you'd figured that out by now I made you better You were an inconvenience before What, baby, please don't be like this You're bleeding all over the ground I am not the boxes and bottles That held you before I hurt myself when I am tired and I am tired I hurt myself when I am tired and I am tired, okay The fox under my shirt's always clawing, it's always clawing, and I am falling The fox under my shirt's always clawing, I'm glad it worked out this way
3.
Francisco Hernandez, you're my hero You rode the subway from one to zero When police officers and teachers are gone and dead I hope all your favorite images are still buzzing in your head. Like trains in the night you will find yourself all right Deep underground where you are safe and sound And no one looks at you 'cause they're going somewhere too And the map in your lap is the only place you've found to be loved Francisco Hernandez, stay in school Redeem yourself with genius, holy fool And even if you make the cut, there's nothing there for you When you're spastic and it's serious they won't know what to do So take off and fly in the shuttle in the sky The mess in the dirt, the quilt that is the earth The peanuts and the wings on your lapel, all the things That hold you to yourself when your mind is smashing through the sun (No one really cares about people and the world and after a while you will stop feeling anything as you flutter through the earth on the wings of a train and no one looks at you because you are lost in space.) It isn't funny 'cause it's sad It's funny because no one's mad at you now Take off your sneakers, leave them on the kitchen floor And wrap yourself in sheets
4.
I kissed someone who's normal now Fuck this I slept in your bed, I played with your hair You let me try your glasses on and borrow your underwear So fuck this I thought we'd be alone together forever I thought we'd be alone forever together True love's as far from me as death and taxes Don't you recall watching TV and taking muscle relaxants With me, I can't believe I kissed someone who's normal now Fuck this You held my hand and told me about your mom I thought you were somebody I could rely on But I'm still in special ed, jerking off at 3 AM And some girl has a boyfriend but I lost my best friend So fuck you, fuck this, fuck all this shit
5.
So I don't think it's easy to be me but I also don't think it's easy to be you 'cause we live on a planet where everybody wants us to pretend we're human and we cry, but just stop kidding yourself, I know you laughed when all those people died. It's hard to be the only one of you, I know, I know it too, the lines inside your wrists and all the pages in your pockets. It will be different when I'm older, better when I'm smarter, but okay, let's just fuck up now and bite my mouth to keep from starting. The half of it And you don't know the half of it And you will be lonely for a while, but I will take your hand in mine, put it in my pocket with the money I don't recognize and the keys I bought at flea markets when I was twelve and slammed boys into the walls and never got caught 'cause I'm small. Let's go live under the bridge where Quentin Compson died, threw himself into the water when he'd had enough of time. I wish that we could see him. We could try to make him smile, if he only knew that girls in school would swoon over his frothing lines. To say to you Nothing I say will ever make it okay for you To say to you 'Cause I know you can never escape Quentin, hold on We love you like anything Be strong You're everything to me
6.
Done 01:53
I love You but I hate what You've made of Yourself I love You but I hate what You've made of Yourself The road to salvation is as narrow as shit and you're not invited to any of it. The road to salvation is as narrow as shit and you're not invited. If I could love You, I'd still hate what I've done to myself for You. And I could love you it wouldn't be enough to keep me hanging Onto the rafters in the sweet hereafter where it's always waiting, always fading Never bruising, never losing, but it doesn't matter because I'm not going. If the road to salvation is as narrow as shit, then I don't want it, any of it. If the road to salvation is narrow as shit, then I don't want it. If the road to damnation is as easy as shit, then go on, touch me, I just might want it. If the road to salvation is as narrow as shit, then I don't want it. If I can love You while I hate what You've made of Yourself If I can't love You does it mean that I'm done with this place If You could love me and You hate what I've done to myself If You can love me, then I guess it's an awful waste.
7.
Cityscape 02:50
I want to have sex with someone who's impressed, someone who's not smarter than me And how many girls in the world can say they're not smarter than me? It's a mission, I will find her if it takes me a year and a day I'll take her places she can't come back from, and then I'll vanish away And oh, baby, I'm sorry that I left you to grow up alone But tell me you don't have some trussed-up boy under your comforter at home Tell me you don't still see me, tell me I'm not still bright Maybe not like a car or a cityscape, but like Pluto or a flashlight 'Cause you know I'll be here (I will be here, I know you all the way down) I'm still here (I live inside you) I live in the gaps between your teeth and the gaps in your history (the lines in your pocket and the whiskey on your breath) And we'll have a fire alarm and I will pull you out We'll emerge choking on the scene, only us We are here, we were gone, don't be gone again Not now that I have my ducks in a row and I'm ready to be your friend
8.
Nonstandard 03:07
You are nonstandard and I love you for it You are my dream, you are the things I can't believe You are nonstandard and I love you for it You are my dream, you are the things I haven't seen Drive me away from here in your car I wish I could possess your boundless rage It shakes from place to place inside your frame It sneaks up on me like the Holy Ghost Breaking me apart when I need it the most Drive me away from here in your car What do I do now, where do I go now Someone like you can always put down roots and thrive I've never boiled past my boiling point I should have figured out by now that you can't drive Drive me away from here in your car
9.
Oh my beautiful boy, you are a mess, you are a mess And oh my beautiful boy, you are a mess, you're such a mess You pick up the phone when I call, but that's all, it really makes me sore 'Cause you only care about people in trouble and that's not who I am anymore And oh my beautiful boy, you are a dream, you are a dream And oh my unstoppable heart, another gift I didn't need And I just have one thing to tell you, I'm not as upset as you think Because I don't care about people in trouble and that's all that you are to me I don't care about people in trouble and that's all that you'll ever be.
10.
so you are the darkness you are the shade and I was waiting there was the blade I was under stairs and roofs and you were holding me under the blue hell is fire, love is leaves orange and yellow on old trees and I waited, there was the bus the lights on the cars glowing through the slush I am falling, not fast enough if it is snowing, there is love and I want it always, my friend holds you in the light in his hands and I want it too I want you I want it too change my color, change my shade make me new in the badge of false faith I'll wear it always when I fight with the knife in my hands and it feels so right

credits

released January 10, 2010

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passion fanfare San Francisco, California

always give up
always surrender

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